


in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee

by ffslynch



Series: Kuroo Week 2020 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 24 hour coffee shop AU, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, Kutoo Tetsurou is sleep deprived, Separation Anxiety, and slightly touch starved, the 24h campus coffee shop makes a come back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffslynch/pseuds/ffslynch
Summary: Kuroo doesn't know how his life got to this point, but he keeps finding himself at the 24 hour coffee shop as his sleep keeps running away from him.(Kuroo Week 2020 Day 2: Coffee Shop AU/ 4: College AU)
Relationships: Kai Nobuyuki & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou & Sawamura Daichi, Kuroo Tetsurou & Yaku Morisuke
Series: Kuroo Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896280
Comments: 11
Kudos: 25
Collections: Kuroo Week 2020





	in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee

You know, at some point during his existence, Kuroo used to have some sort of structure in his life.   
He would wake up early, run 3 miles back and forth to his house, shower, have breakfast, go to school, have classes, go to practice, come back, study, have dinner, study some more, study volley strategy, go to bed and wake up the next to do it all over again. He had a routine. An efficient and productive structure, and a healthy and stable sleeping schedule.  
But for the last week, Kuroo keeps finding himself in the same 24 h campus coffee shop. He doesn't know why, but he just can't sleep, and laying down on his bed alone opens the door for an army of ants made of anxiety to walk all over his body. He swears he has tried everything, from tea to yoga, to meditation, to watching asmr videos. Nothing seems to help. When the silence of the room becomes too much, he just gives up, gets dressed and simply goes down the street to the campus coffee shop. The first time he goes with the mindset that might as well be productive if he can't sleep, but the more days go by without him getting any sleep, the visits quickly turns into simple people watching. On his third night in a row visiting the café, his brain unwilling to shut down for the night, but too tired to actually put any effort into working, he sits with his books open in front of, head supported by one hand and eyes wandering through the enclosed space, through the people occupying it with him. They are all together inside, only a few feet apart from each other, but miles away in thought.   
Kuroo always loved people watching. It started as a child when he was supposed to keep quiet so his dad could work and to not get in the way of his grandparents. So he’d sit on the curb and watch people passing by, creating stories for them inside his head. Due to his shy nature, it was also a way to soothe himself in busy environments and in school, when he didn’t have anyone else to play with. It became basically a requirement when he met Kenma. They were both so painfully shy and had so much difficulty to actually talk, Kuroo basically managed the first weeks of their friendship by strongly watching what Kenma did, how his eyebrows furrowed so lightly when he was focused on his game and how his eyes went wild (but just for like, 2 seconds) when he lost, how he turned his nose when his mother served greens with dinner, how he played with his fingernails when he was unsure of what to say, how his favourite characters were never the buff overpowered ones, but the ones that he could use for subtle strategy, how Kenma was impatient but enjoyed playing the long game. He wrote down all of that information and filed away under the label ‘Important’ in his brain.   
As he became more and more into volleyball, he kept watching people, analysing different plays and players. He’d examine the best strategies and which plays he’d be able to do, how he could use them on his favour and which ones he had to be careful as he or his team could be more easily fooled by it. Later on, as a captain, he’d go to other teams games and watch their biggest plays and how Nekoma could react to it. Then, he’d show all to Kenma (assuming the boy hadn’t tagged along) to get his opinion.   
By college, people watching had developed into a hobby and a habit. In the commute, as he waited for class to start when he sat outside waiting for his friends to join him, so they could go somewhere. Kuroo was always watching. There was a certain level of comfort of disappearing into a crowd, being a passive observer, learning about people without having to interact with them. It was one of the reasons why he loved the 24-hour coffee shop so much. People were their truest selves when they were too tired, too focused or too drunk to care.   
He watches another student typing away furiously on his laptop. He is drinking shots of coffee one after the other and muttering ‘idiots, all of them’ under his breath. Kuroo snorts a little and looks down. For some reason, watching the sleep-deprived man raging against his paper (and most likely his classmates) reminded him of another short quick to anger men he met in high school. He remembers his last conversation with Yaku, before he moved away. They threw a party with the rest of the team and other classmates, and eventually found themselves sitting on the house porch alone, both of their skins too warm from the sun and lips too cool from their sugary drinks  
“Man” Kuroo began “I can’t believe you’re actually moving to Russia”  
“Not my fault their team recognised my talent and a better contract than the Japanese teams,” Yaku says, bitchy and sharp like usual, but Kuroo scoffs.  
“Right. Am I really supposed to believe that that's the only reason why you’re moving?” he asked with an eyebrow raised. They both knew very well that a certain Alisa Haiba would be waiting for Yaku on the airport, to guide him around town and introduce him to the Russian culture and just be an ‘overall friendly face’ in the unknown country. Right, like Kuroo would believe that.   
It was impulsive and maybe a stupid decision, but Yaku was a determined man who chased his dreams regardless of the possible negative outcome, the hot-headed idiot. Kuroo was going to miss him too much for his own good.   
“I don’t own you any explanations,” He said, which was Yaku’s typical response to whenever Kuroo was right about something, but he didn’t want to admit. Kuroo laughed.  
“Didn’t think you’d be a deserter Yaku” he teased  
“Russia just has the best opportunities for me right now. Better job offering, a jump start for my career and yes, ok, they have Alisa. I’m not gonna deny she has some importance in this decision. I just want a nice, easy life. What's wrong with that?" Yaku asks, raising his   
“With Alisa.” Kuroo teases, once again.   
“Of course,” Yaku says, and a rare cheery grin takes over his face, letting clear that there was never any other choice for him. He and Alisa had started slow, and at many points, Yaku simply believed it wouldn’t ever lead to nowhere. So many stolen glances during Nekoma’s outings, him being fearful of rejection, and her being afraid of upsetting Lev. It took over a month for Yaku to gather the courage to talk to her, and then about 3 months for either of them to even just be alone together, without completely freaking out. And now here they were, one year later. Yaku was moving and Alisa would be waiting for him, and they already had dinner plans for the foreseeable future. Kuroo gave 3 weeks until they gave up on any pretence of ‘we are just friends!’ that they had been playing at, and just kissed each other senseless.   
Maybe Kuroo shouldn’t have got so comfortable teasing him, especially someone like Yaku who didn’t measure words and had a tongue sharp like a knife. After his much giddy affirmation, Yaku loses no time in slapping Kuroo in the face with a follow-up question: “What do you want, Kuroo?”  
At the time, he had changed the subject, making a joke about needing some food or for money to fall off the sky. Now, and probably even then, he knew not to answer such questions out loud.   
What did he want? So many things and some of them were simply unthinkable.   
What did he want? To see the future, to figure out if he was following the right path, to know if his mother would have been proud of him, to hear the words come out from his father’s mouth, to prove himself, to hold someone’s hand, to be loved and seen by someone. To know what he wanted.  
What did he want? He wanted to be able to go back to his apartment, lay down on his bed and fall asleep. He wanted to have another body on his bed, to warm him up. He wanted to fall asleep to another person breathing, to a heartbeat. He wanted to stop feeling lonely.   
Kuroo shakes his head, trying to make the thoughts disappear, but it’s hard. Sometimes he feels like everyone in his life is moving on so quick, there’s no way he will ever catch up. Yaku moving to Russia, Bokuto moving on to the pro level and going to Osaka, Kai was also still in college like him but well on his way to create his own business with landscaping, not to mention that one of their last hangouts together had been to window-shop for rings, as he was planning to propose to his own high school sweetheart somewhere in the next few months.   
Kuroo distinctly remembers sitting down at the bench, head tilted back, eyes stuck in the sky. Kai was sitting beside him enjoying an ice cream on a nice afternoon but Kuroo just couldn’t relax, mulling over their activities for that day and Kai’s future plans. There was something so undeniably brave about what he was doing. Proposing to someone. Compromising and dedicating himself to someone for so long and then simply deciding that you will continue to dedicate yourself to them for the rest of your life. Loving someone.   
Love wasn’t an easy thing, it required courage and a dash of boldness, to let yourself fall and be so vulnerable with someone else. Just the idea of it knocks the air right out of his longs. He has no idea how Kai does it. How he is able to just put himself in such a vulnerable position. Love, this romantic love, this sort of dedication to another person, is such a foreign  
He lets his head fall to the side to look at his face. His mother had passed away early and his father had never really been the same after. His grandparents loved each other, of course, but it was an ancient love, something steady that seemed to belong to a completely different reality to Kai's or anything Kuro might ever experience.  
In all honesty, sometimes Kuroo thought he was cursed. That there was something deeply wrong inside him, and that no one would ever love him like that, want him and to be beside him for such a long time like that. Almost 22 years of existence and he has never had a relationship to show, not a real one anyway. His life had been an infinite circle of trying too hard and never feeling like he was enough, in which his only constants had been school, volleyball, and loneliness.   
And Kenma, of course, but that was a whole other topic that Kuroo would much rather not to go into, as to avoid potential migraines by unknown causes.  
He lets his head roll to the side, to stare at the future groom.  
“Why did you ask me to come shopping with you? Wouldn’t you prefer someone who knows something about love?” he asks and Kai chuckled before answering him.  
“I think you know plenty about love.” his friend answers, kind as ever. Too kind for Kuroo. “I think you’re just scared of it. I think is something that is so second nature to you but if you catch yourself thinking too much about it, you freak out.” He says and Kuroo swallows dry, filled with anxiety from the answer. “You’re just too stuck on your head Kuroo. Love is not supposed to be thought about, it’s supposed to be felt.” He says. Kuroo looks down, letting the words wash over him. It makes sense, of course, but still, it’s such a complicated thing to understand, to actually put into practice. Something hits the side of his head and his eyes snap up, shocked. Kai is looking at him, fingers positioned as he had just flicked Kuroo on the head, a gentle smile on his face “Stop thinking, Kuroo. Just feel it.”  
Just feel it. Just feel it. How does anyone do that? How can you just not rationalize something? Especially ‘love’, a feeling (or is it more of a concept?) that has been marketed through centuries as being the utmost life-changing experience. And is it really? How can this one feeling drive people up the walls when it’s unrequited or struck them so hard that they change every single aspect of their lives for one person?   
Kuroo thinks about Daichi, moving out of Tokyo with Sugawara. The ex-setter parents had passed away, leaving him with two siblings to raise as his own, a 3 and a 5-year-old. Kuroo thinks about how Daichi, willingly and without a second thought, changed his whole life for one person, how he now lives far away from the big city in a house filled with kids that are not his by blood but by choice.   
The last time that they had video chatted had been the night before, Kuroo once again on the coffee shop, alone, tired, filled with dread from the lack of sleep but running away from the emptiness of his apartment.   
“I love them, I really do.” The captain told him “Sugawara is great and so are the kids, and they are quiet and help out a ton, actually! It’s just, sometimes the kids kinda drive me insane a bit. They’re hilarious but, you know…” He trails off, with a sigh "I just didn’t expect to become a father so soon. And I love them, I really do…. I just wish they would just tone it down a bit, sometimes!"  
“So move out,” Kuroo said, on a whim. It’s a piece of empty advice, really, something he knows the other man would never do. Daichi actually laughs a little  
"I don't think I could live alone again," he tells him, a fond smile on his face. Of course, he couldn’t. That was his life now. He looked tired and a bit overworked, definitely not as fresh and excited as when they were younger, but he looked happy. And if it was a competition, Kuroo looked as tired as him but knew he was very far from being as happy. He looked like a superhero in Kuroo’s eyes.   
“How do you do it?” he asked, genuine. It seemed impossible for someone to ever be this overworked and this content with life, this pleased with such an uncanny path filled with struggles, so different from the life they dreamed.   
“Find someone that loves you through everything no matter what,” Daichi says, wise as ever. Kuroo scoffs, the whole situation made him sound more like a dad than ever.  
“Yeah, sounds like something that won’t ever happen to me, but thanks for the advice,” He says, voice a little bit bitter but in a joking manner. Daichi looks at him, eyes semi-closed and lips pressed together, judgment taking over his face. Kuroo is filled with worries for a second, thinking that his self-loathing humour went too far and made him uncomfortable, and opens his mouth to apologize but Daichi beats him to it.  
“You know, I always knew you were scheming, but I did think you were more observant than this.” Kuroo scoffs, offended.  
“May I know what you mean by that?” Daichi was talking as if anyone could have the life he had, the love and commitment to someone that he was talking about. It’s not like Kuroo would know how to recognize ‘love’ to being with, being raised by a single father and a couple of grandparents that never kissed in public or said the words ‘I love you’. Love was a foreign thing, and beyond that, it was something Kuroo was adamant that wasn’t for him, something that he didn’t get to have.  
Besides, he was sleep-deprived (as usual) and Daichi knew that. He couldn’t possibly be messing up with him for missing a detail or another when he had just told him he hadn’t slept in days. Daichi looks at him almost fondly, before shaking his head.  
“Go home, Kuroo. You’ll be asleep soon enough” he said, hanging up.  
Kuroo rolled his eyes, annoyed at the memory. In all honesty, he was still unsure of what Daichi had meant by that. Usually, Kuroo was excellent when it came to interpreting what other people meant by unsaid words, lifelong experience with his family and even Kenma, with his introverted and quiet nature, had more than prepared him for that, but still. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Again, it’s not like he had been in actual relationships, something that required devotion and making time and paying attention specifically to one person. The only thing he had ever done was focus and work on his grades and on volleyball, getting ready for the next part. Always thinking about the next game, the next competition, going to nationals, getting to college. Kuroo didn’t regret his focal pivoted life, but sometimes he wondered if he hadn’t missed out on something that all his friends had seen. If somewhere along the way, love had knocked on their window and everyone opened up and received directions to find their ‘better halves’, but he had simply turned up his TV and let it go away. He wondered how would it feel, to have such a strong partnership, having someone by his side, no matter what for the rest of his life. Someone that loved him like that, that didn’t think of him as a burden or annoying, that wanted to have him around. Someone to hold him, laying down on the sofa on lazy days, a steaming cup of tea on the coffee table, the repetitive song of a video game playing on the background. Years of a solid union, a ‘forever’ in the making. Warm touches, soft kisses under the blankets tasting like cinnamon apple...Kuroo shakes his head, unsure of where such specific image came from. He felt like is something he was supposed to know, like there is this undeniable truth hanging on the back of his head, but he can’t quite get a grasp on it. The words fumbled together inside his brain, getting fussy. God, he was tired.  
“Kuro” a too-familiar voice calls him, and Kuroo looks up, shocked. Kenma was supposed to be in the US for a Bouncing Ball event that would take almost ten whole days, filled with busy meetings for possible partnerships and the development of future games and merch. He had been gone for over a week now and his busy schedule, as well as the time zone differences, had been in the way of him and Kuroo getting in contact with each other. The last time he has actually talked to Kenma had been two days after he went away, and they haven’t been able to since then.  
“Kenma,” He says, confused, “I thought you were only supposed to come back in like, two days?” he says, and the boy shakes his head  
“The meeting got cancelled, so I’m back earlier. You weren’t home or answering your phone” Kuroo fishes his phone out of his pocket and yep - completely out of battery. “So I assumed you’d be here”  
“Yeah... I’ve been having some trouble sleeping. Same things as always, nothing new. Thought it might be better if I tried to be productive but... It didn’t really work” Kenma shakes his head once again before extending his hand.  
“Let’s go to bed Kuro,” he says and Kuroo nods, already dreading the lack of sleep. He gathers his things and follows Kenma out of the coffee shop, down the street, into their building and into their apartment, they are home. He drops his stuff on the table on the corner that became is makeshift office as the second bedroom as Kenma’s gaming room and recording studio, and heads off to Kenma’s bedroom. Kenma had already changed into his pyjamas, his travelling bags dropped aside near the close, making a mess.   
“I’ll put it away tomorrow,” he tells Kuroo before he can say anything and Kuroo chuckles, nodding. “Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?” He asks, face passive and empty of judgment. This time Kuroo is silent, hesitant. After a beat, he nods once again.   
It’s nothing new, really. His insomnia had been a thing since middle school and so, as they had practically been extensions of each other for most of their lives, Kenma was more than well aware of that. And every so often, when it got pretty bad to the point Kuroo was a mere sleepless shell of himself, Kenma would nudge his way into his bed and keep him company until Kuroo would finally, finally, be able to fall asleep and rest again. The question shocks Kuroo simply because it was something they hadn’t done in so long, not since Kenma’s first year in Nekoma. They hadn’t grown apart, they had just grown up and so, sleeping together started to feel too much like something that should be done with other people and not your best friend.   
He changes and they lie down, side by side. Kuroo’s eyes are stuck in the ceiling. He is sure that sleep won’t come, his thoughts already fumbling together with anxiety for unknown reasons and-  
“I missed you,” Kenma says, laying his head on Kuroo’s chest. Everything goes quiet. Something inside him stops overworking, running from what he doesn’t know. The place on his chest that is being touched by Kenma’s head and is soft hair is getting warmed by the second.  
“I missed you too” Kuroo whispers, before kissing the top of his head.  
Then he closes his eyes and falls asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> The 24 hour coffee shop makes a come back! I hope you like this fic, I tried t make it a little bit fumbled and confusing, as it is told from Kuroo's very sleep deprived memories and point of view, so hopefully I pulled it off?  
> Please let me know if I did, and as always all feedback is appreciated. Thank you so much for reading and If you'd like to see more of me shit posting about Kuroo and coffee you can always find me on twitter @ffskuroo :)


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